Archive for the ‘News’ Category

Heroics at Jevington

Saturday, May 28th, 2016

It’s all about communication. And the skipper was mightily relieved to carry out a head count at 12.47 on Sunday afternoon and reach the magic 11, despite never having actually confirmed the final line up, not to mention the added bonus of Frank filling the combined scorer/treasurer role and Jan maintaining her uncontested position as legendary supporter.
With the team dispatched Jevington-bound thoughts turned to tactics. The usual confused, uninformed chatter regarding our strengths as a chasing team, our weaknesses as a penetrating bowling force and possible game formats danced back and forth between the skipper’s travelling companions. The conclusion was that we should bat second on the basis that the bowlers could enjoy a large tea!
We arrived in glorious sunshine simultaneously with the opposition and as tall, sinewy youths peeled themselves out of back seats we realised that we were not facing a team that even approached the average age of the beamers (only kept below 50 by the very welcome presence of Jack Renshaw).
The opposing skipper, one of the sinewy youths, completely misread the toss and called a hugely optimistic “heads”. It was tails and the Beamers skipper instantly inserted Jevington to their fate. Buoyed by the knowledge of an extensive tea the Beamers bowlers were pawing at the ground in anticipation.
The pre-match huddle was really an excuse to wish a very happy 65th birthday to Jonners “the cat” Jonners with the morale boosting “Win it for Jonners” being the game plan.
Opening with Greg “Blackadder” Blackadder and Renshaw senior against the opening batters of Youth and Sinew it wasn’t long before the first breakthrough. Glen, using a devious change of length and width drew the batsman into playing early. The ball looped high into the air towards a slightly pensive looking mid-off Jack Edwards. It has to be said that in pre-match warm up Jack had dropped just about everything that came his way. The total silence that followed the ball through its trajectory towards Jack reflected the possibly dented confidence in the catch being taken. There should have been no doubt as the ball was safely pouched.
There followed a period of excellent bowling from Bladder and Renshaw, Glen picking up another very useful wicket of the skipper and Mark being just too good to actually claim a wicket. Reference to the economy will describe the quality of the spell. A change was required and on came Renshaw junior (another Jack) and Chafey (another Lord). Niall managed a marvellous spell producing three lovely wickets including a hat-trick ball while Jack R was cruelly denied his first Beamer wicket for a second time (his father had fled to long leg claiming he could not take the pressure of dropping another off his son’s bowling) as a rocket from the eventual top scorer with a 50 was spilled. “no one would have caught that!”
It was time for spin. A mesmerising spell of left arm orthodox (actually I don’t have a clue what it is described as) coming down the hill and right arm leg spin coming down the other hill kept batter, fielders and audience royally entertained. The A&E master class in “using the loop” was parsimonious if a bit wicketless. The leg spin was expensive for the first three overs as the nine months of rust were shaken off and the spell nearly came to an end right there. However in a moment of captaining brilliance Riggers was kept in place to magically haul in three wickets in two overs of an unplayable mix of leg breaks an googlies. Genius!
The spin binding spell bowling spell came to an end and we continued with the never ending supply of bowling talent as on came safe hands Jack and the legend Rob Nicholls. We were into the tail and runs had dried up but the final wicket (they only had 10) was elusive. Rob Nicholls solved the problem with a bizarre piece of self-pressurising reverse psychology. He stated to the skipper “I’ll have one more then you should come on”. No sooner had the skip started creaking into a semblance of a warm up than Rob produced an in-swinger of sublime quality to remove middle stump. Jevington all out for 116 with 34 minutes of batting time remaining. Well bowled, well fielded!
Tea. Nothing more need be said other than it has been voted tea of the season already. The successful tactic of batting second allowing the bowlers to gorge themselves was slightly misunderstood by Maf (batting 3) who reached the end of the table with his plate groaning under the strain of beautifully prepared goodies. The bowlers (all eight of them) naturally did gorge themselves during a tea which took at least 15 minutes longer than usual.
We eventually arrived at a batting order largely selected on the basis of who could still move and Riggers and Lord Chafey made their way to the centre. Under instruction to “have a look” for the first 30 minutes and then accelerate through to victory the score book began to tick. Bowlers Sinew and Youth opened the attack with a mixture of pace and accuracy. Both batsmen strolled into double figures when Chafey suffered the merest brush of an outside (maybe inside, I was only umpiring after all!) edge. So mere was the brush that the aforementioned umpire was not inclined to raise the finger having heard nothing untoward. Standards were properly maintained however when Chafey quite correctly walked. Fair play! Sinew was replaced at the pavilion end by taller, faster, leaner, south African Sinew who bowled 8 overs of impressive, fast, outswinging, off-breaking deliveries. Obviously this was way too good for any Beamers to get anywhere near so he only managed one wicket. Glen Blackadder Blackadder shone with the bat overcoming the pace and guile of the attack to amass 41 and with some support from the skipper we came within 10 of victory. Then came the second Chafey LBW issued to a work colleague that afternoon and Black could adder no more to his score (hmm). It was about this time that the umpire was handed the bowler’s right boot with the sole hanging off and the right arm off spin continued with one stockinged foot.
So Beamers 106 for 6 and into the fray enters Jack Renshaw looking, if we are honest, slightly pale and nervous. In a very non pale and un-nervous three balls Jack clipped a legside delivery to square leg for two, drove a straight ball to long off for another two and nonchalantly nudged a quick single to steel the strike. 5 to win. Jevington, in a desperate last throw of the die reverted back to the fast, accurate opener. The skipper wondered momentarily on the likelihood of Renshaw junior being given LBW by Renshaw senior. The next ball tested this conundrum for the father. A fast ball flashed between bat and pad, a noise, a huge shout, a nervous look up from the son, and implacable father quietly and sagely shaking his head muttering words like “pad”. The bowler, clearly furious, stormed in to deliver the next ball intent on taking off young Jack’s head. The chest high beamer was clipped (possibly edged) between keeper and slip for four. Game tied. Another fast ball on leg stump simply clipped to square leg and the game is in the bag. Well played and welcome to the team Jack Renshaw.

Beer followed in the 8 Bells and then the Good Companions. What a great day!!

Thank you Beamers.

Brighton Beamers CC – Fixtures 2015

Saturday, February 28th, 2015

17/5/15 – 2pm – Jevington – Rob Siddens
31/5/15 – 2pm – Findon – Andrew Eaton
14/6/15 – 2pm – Crawley Down – Simon Smith
12/7/15 – 2pm – Ditchling – Naill Chafey
6/9/15 – 1.30pm – Watersfield – Frank Rigby
27/9/15 – 1pm – Twineham & Wineham – Rob Nicholls

Midhurst in Ruins After Operation Siddo

Wednesday, June 18th, 2014

A fixture bedeviled by the usual lead-up nonsense (opposition dropping out, players dropping out, cyclists everywhere, lack of access to the emergency fixture bureau, etc, etc) ended up being rather pleasant.

Midhust is miles away, of course, so the team arrived in dribs and drabs, most cheerful and looking forward to a game of cricket at last, some, sadly, less so.

But enough of my spat with Jonners. “What happened in the game, skip?”, I can hear you cry.

I was coming to that.

On a sloping pitch in front of the splendid Cowdray Ruins, the toss was duly won and the opposition duly inserted, mainly on the premise that we can never bowl sides out.

After tight bowling early on from Mark and Musso (yes indeed, the old team back in harness – and carthorses would be one description, although not one I would ever use, naturally) they crawled to around 35-1 off 12 or 13 overs, with Musso having taken the solitary wicket to fall. A double change, with debutante Glen replacing Renshaw and Siddo the Magnificent replacing Musso. And, my word, didn’t that work out well?

While Glen hurtled in from one end – inducing a series of false strokes and a couple of missed chances, one very tricky, the other, well… – Siddo was – as I may have said already – simply magnificent. When he’d taken 3 wickets, I was going to take him off, but wise words were whispered in my ear by Niall about the possibility of a jug, so I kept him on. So he picked up a fourth. I then asked him when he last took 5 wickets, and was told 1993, so I gave him another over. You can guess the rest.

So they’re 6 down. Niall makes it 7 in his solitary over and they really haven’t got any runs at all. Beast then God from one end to deliver statesman-like off spin; myself from the other end to feed them some juicy leg-side long-hops which certainly helped with their scoring rate!

An over apiece from Riggers and Ben to round things off. (10 bowlers used – count ’em!) Midhurst 123-7, 5 of which were gobbled up by Siddo.

Decent tea, with a particularly good coffee cake and accompanied by live cricket from Lords in the bar with England’s innings interestingly poised and Balance and Jordan leading the fightback.

3 people had each bowled a solitary over, so they they had the honour of leading us out. Ben and Riggers first. After Ben’s brief stay (which, as he pointed out, was both longer and higher scoring than his previous effort at T&W), Riggers was joined by Niall and together they set about their task.

Highlights were a trademark back-foot force just in front of Point from Riggers and a series of mightily punched shots from Niall all round the wicket, but particularly through the leg-side. The chase was unhurried and without much in the way of alarm, although Niall carved one through cover’s hands, Riggers got tied in knots by a couple of young leg-spinners (poetic justice, surely?) and Musso had to field for about half their innings as one of their team had to go home for his dinner (or something).

A 9 wicket win with more than 10 overs to spare. We normally like ’em a bit closer, but I think we’d take anything at the moment. Can anyone remember our last victory? T&W in September 2012, perhaps? Was that Ben’s previous outing? Is that the secret? Beamers win when Ben fails…?


In a brief footnote, I have had an apology for the lack of proper beer in the bar. I am assured that it won’t happen again!

In another brief footnote on the subject of beer, jugs are owed.  Siddo (one), Riggers (half).  Just thought I’d mention it…

Minutes of Beamers EGM Friday 6th June 2014

Tuesday, June 10th, 2014

In attendance: Siddo, Salmon, Niall, Maf, Beast, Dave Andrews. Also a strange man who, upon closer inspection, turned out to be A&E, with hair tousled out to its full length, to make him a) unrecognisable; 3 of the team walked straight past him, and b) wonderfully eccentric-looking and cultured. Beamers, you should see it, it’s worth signing up for Crawley Down for. As it happens, my partner also walked past A&E in the street yesterday but, on having it pointed out, then said ‘it makes him look softer, more interesting’. I mean, I don’t want to go on about it, but it really is something.

As you’ve seen elsewhere, Niall is sorting nets; the meeting suggested that we have one the week before each game. There were rumours that Mr Cave was sorting something out with Brighton College, but in the absence of any further news we’re going for indoor nets.

Maf requested that, if and when he ever reaches 99, someone from the boundary should shout and tell him (pace the previous Beast and Dave Andrews’ farragos); Salmon asked if the same could happen if he ever gets to 9.

I thought that was a good gag, hence its inclusion here.

Availability has been outlined elsewhere, so no need to mention it here.

Skippers are: Crawley Down – A&E; Ditchling – Niall Chafey; A ‘W’, standing for which I forget now (Watersfield – Ed)- Frank Rigby; Twineham and Wineham – Rob Nicholls.

What do you call a man who balances pints on his head whilst playing snooker? Beatrix Potter.

Crawley Down But Not Out…

Wednesday, June 26th, 2013

The skipper’s report seems to be a dying art (and you’ll see why shortly – Ed.) but it might have a place for those who weren’t at the game and have a passing interest in what happens to The Beamers.

Crawley Down beckoned but it took a committed team to get there – late drop outs, damaged deities, the London to Brighton bike ride and the pissing rain – just some of the obstacles put in our way. But Riggers’ fan base produced an extra player, A&E did sterling work liaising with their fixture sec and Gordy WALKED FIVE MILES from the station to get there. Yeah, yeah… but what about the cricket I hear you one ask?

Well it was fun, in a cricket sort of way. Lots of runs (mostly by them unfortunately), a sun drenched pitch, excellent fielding (err, again mostly by them) and a tea from heaven.

They chose to bat first and produced their centurion who proceeded to batter us and the adjoining houses (it was a short boundary – it must have been even the skipper hit a six later…) for most of the afternoon.

Harry Deacon, who sounds like a character from a John le Carre novel but is in fact our official youth policy, opened with THE BEAST (a first time for everything) and bowled fast and furious including getting a couple of edges to second slip. Both were dropped unfortunately and even more so because the second resulted in the damaged deity hurting himself even more.

Bowlers were regularly rotated with first changes Gordy and Riggers bowling well and taking wickets but still the centurion remained. Kumy and the Dobmeister tried to befuddle them by bowling a variety of different deliveries, most of them intentionally, but still he remained.

Nicholls brought himself on and luckily got wickets, including THAT one, when he held one back and slid it across the left hander/he ran out of energy and was only able to smack it to David at mid-off (delete where applicable). They hit out and got out but not before we were looking at chasing over 220.

What a fantastic tea…

With the deity done in Riggers stepped into the breach with David who smacked 10 off the first over! Then it went very quiet. David was out chasing a wide one and Riggers looked like he may be having one of his legendary ‘at the wicket kips’.

Then all of a sudden he woke up and was soon carting it, including a huge six over the long boundary and nearly into his cowering parents, ending up just shy of his 50. Beast stayed a while, Harry helped Riggers batter the bowlers a bit and Charlie tried too. Kumy had a cameo, Skip stayed for a bit too, G came and went, Jonners upper cut for four but was out trying to repeat his own version of the Dilshan scoop, A&E slapped his first ball for four and… see above. But we were always a little behind the run rate.

Still the Harvey’s tasted good and I’m sure we’ll win a game some time this season…

Rob Nic

Brighton Beamers Cricket Club – Fixtures 2013

Monday, March 11th, 2013

As soft spring breezes gently caress the warm blissful South, our thoughts naturally turn to the season to come.  Which – for those who didn’t read their emails a couple of months ago – consists of the following delights:

12-May Findon  2pm
19-May Lewes St Michaels 2pm
09-Jun St Peters 1:30pm
16-Jun Crawley Down 2pm
30-Jun Palmers  2pm
07-Jul Rodmell 2pm
14-Jul Ditchling 2pm
25-Jul Smarden – Kent Tour – T20 6pm
26-Jul Elham Valley – Kent Tour 2.30pm
27-Jul Little Chart – Kent Tour 1pm
01-Sep Long Men (Selmeston) 2pm
08-Sep Watersfield 2pm
29-Sep Twineham & Wineham 1pm

All of these games are away.


Age and Cunning Triumphs Over Youth and Skill

Thursday, May 31st, 2012

It was an interesting ploy by the Findon selectors, fielding an almost entirely youthful side against the usual bunch of Beamer crocks and hangovers; particularly interesting on such a beautifully hot and sunny day.  “Run ‘em ragged”, I’m sure was the cry as their skipper won the toss and invited us to spend two and a half hours in the baking heat.

This Is Not What Their Team Looked Like

From the moment he picked Rob and I up and mentioned that he had a, “Well, it’s as bad as a Tour one, to be honest”, to the time he threw up shortly before the start of play, it was obvious that Siddo was just the man to take the new ball, which he did, partnering the red-eyed Tonguester in a hungover pairing from hell.  After some time “focussing” and an early torrent of runs, the incision came, with Tonguester removing two in two balls (including their very handy skipper and opening bat) and Siddo dispatching the other opener, who had lived something of a charmed life before playing across the line once too often.

Things become a little blurred at this stage, as I was feeling rather hot and needed to concentrate on bowling and fielding changes rather than the match report… I think they then put on quite a few for the fourth wicket and got up to around 140, with Rob Nic bowling dry but not really threatening, and with Riggers – in between being punched through the covers, past a cowering Maf and down the hill – inducing a couple of false shots every over but with nothing more than runs resulting.   At this stage, with an hour still to go before tea, Age and Cunning were already considering the Harvey’s in the clubhouse, while Youth and Skill were revving up for a night on the alcopops…

What we really needed to get back in it was an ill-judged run, a brilliant stop but wild throw by Ben and a great piece of keeping by Pete to drag the ball back onto the stumps.  Age! Cunning! Howzat?!

Going up the gears in the approved fashion, we moved smoothly to an all spin attack.  3 wickets for Riggers – a fine result following those early near misses – a couple for Beast – returning to the Beamers’ loving embrace in splendid style – and one for me (crap ball, shit shot, good catch by Ben, since you’re wondering).  All out for 171.  All out, what’s more, with 25 minutes to spare.

Tea dispatched with the same alacrity as we’d cut down the youth of Findon, the top order decided by the simple technique of perming the four who hadn’t bowled or kept wicket, we settled down to see whether Ben was ever going to find any form with the bat.

Turned out his batting form was just fine.  In fact, I suspect that, if he hadn’t played 18 holes of golf in the morning, he’d still be out there.  As it was, his innings was in three parts – a typically entertaining start, Maf partnering him and both hitting some crunching boundaries, a period of exhausted agony as he crawled to 50 and beyond in partnership with Dave – who played well for his 18 before becoming victim to a somewhat controversial lbw decision – and then a late flurry before a tired shot saw his downfall for 78*.

The back of the chase broken, Nick and Riggers at the crease, just over 40 to get and 20 overs to get them in. Not a problem, surely?  And yet, it all became rather tricky as the runs started to dry up.  The energetic and enthusiastic Findon – with their young skipper Harry to the fore – continued to put the pressure on and the overs ticked by with the scoreboard barely moving (although the rate required – to be fair – never got over 3). A couple of wickets could have made it interesting.  They got one – Nick bowled by a beauty which cut back in down the hill – but Tonguester came out to inject a bit of urgency and he and Riggers took us safely home.

Beamers win by 6 wickets with a couple of overs to spare.


*He shot 78 in the morning too.  Whatever that means…


Sopwith Camels – smashing…

Thursday, May 17th, 2012

Smashing. That’s what it was.

Smashing that we actually played. Smashing that it was in sunshine (though with a typical East Brighton park wind it was still chilly).

And smashing was what Ben did all day. Smashing the Sopwith bowlers all over the place, and smashing Beamers’ records too (probably including the number of jugs it’s possible to be liable for in one game).

We lost the toss and were asked to bat (Ha! We didn’t know what was coming so they must have been fairly surprised). John and Ben opened well ‘til John got a straight swingy one. Maf joined ‘the mighty one’ and played beautifully, scoring quickly against good bowling on a pitch where you needed skill and welly to get it off the square. Thirty and then new bowler, watch it first, ah…

David joined ‘the mighty one’ and that’s when the Beamers enjoyed a batting master class. Classic cover drives, punches through point, straight sixes merely caressed over the boundary and bloody HUGE sixes carted everywhere.

Ben after cranking it up

Ben scored 156! The new Beamers highest individual score. David got a bit of a shooter, Riggers and Frank didn’t have much time to trouble the scorebook and we DECLARED BEFORE TEA (well with about three minutes to spare) on 221 for 5 or some such.

A splendid tea from local caterers Eaton & Riches and the Beamers were like coiled springs ready to unleash the skipper’s cunning plan (get 10 wickets).

Well of course we didn’t – where have you been for the last 25 years?

Siddo and Riggers opened, both bowling well and chances went down a little too regularly. But not many runs, so time to bring on the left-hand duo. Gordon started fizzing them down (which is where many of them stayed much to his embarrassment) but it says bowled in the scorebook so who cares? And A&E bamboozled like only he knows how.

But the Camels weren’t moving anywhere fast. Rigby F and Nicholls tried to winkle them out, which brought more drops and few runs but a draw was the only result likely. Still, unbeaten in May looks good from here…

Rob Nic

Future Events of a Netting Variety – An Old (But Not That Old) Cricketer Writes…

Tuesday, March 20th, 2012


The time has come to prepare yourselves for the rigours of ‘training’ as the long missed but never forgotten Aussie Greg rather euphemistically (or should that be “optimistically”? Ed) called our nets.

And just to make it easy for you it’s all as usual – Brighton College, Thursdays evenings, 6.15pm to 8.15pm.

We start on 12 April and run right through until 26 July.

In case you need reminding what this sort of thing entails I attach a photo from the archives – snapped sometime in the early sixties in Middlesbrough.

Rob Prepares to Crank It Up!

See you there

Rob x


New Fixture – Replacement for Lost Chiggers

Saturday, February 11th, 2012

As one tradition comes to a (hopefully temporary) end, so another one is born. On May 13th, we will be hosting Sopwith Camels CC at East Brighton. I’m told they like beer…