Archive for October, 2005

Brighton Beamers Cricket Club – AGM 2005

Sunday, October 30th, 2005

Present: Wayne, Siddo, Jonners, Simon, Rob N, Caveheart, Hugh, Beast, Frank, Niall, Musso & Steve “Who’s the Daddy?” Esson

Apologies: Lord Bassam (still no jug), Dave, Riggers, Pete, Preach & Gordy

1 The Treasurer’s Report

Ballot papers were waved as Jonners revealed to the House that the Club funds were in credit to the melodious tune of £535.14. There was some confusion as to whether we were being billed £322 for the use of bitches or for the use of pitches but, in any case, BBCC has over £200 in the bank. Jonners could not account for the 14p.

The Club Treasurer felt able to announce another “Fees Freeze” for 2006, so subs remain at £25, match fees at £6 and net fees at £3. The coffers swelled as Simon, Niall and Steve paid their subs early in the usual exhibitionistic manner and Jonners called in a few bad debts.

The question of Tea Fees (and wigwams) was raised and we hit upon the idea of charging the oppo £25 for a “cold” tea and £30 for a “hot” tea that would include a lovely cuppa from the East Brighton Park café. Jeremy mentioned something about a gas urn being a “nice bit of kit” but left things at that and Jonners said “It’s like a Swiss army rifle – seen, but never used” but I can’t remember what he was talking about.

2 Fixtures

Last season’s pruning of the fixtures list ensured that the Beamers tree flourished and blossomed in 2005 with a full XI appearing for most games.

After a run through the 2005 fixtures list we decided to axe Crowborough and to replace them with a TBA. The TBA on the first Sunday in September was retained and it was agreed that there could be an extra TBA in August if there were enough players available.

We don’t want to play Brighton & Hove again.

We’d like to play Rottingdean 2nd XI at their place and we’ll look into the possibility of using the Palmers home ground at Hove Rec as an alternative to EBP. Musso’s fears about the quality of the respective playing surfaces were allayed when he was told that it was better to have a shit outfield than to have shit on the outfield.

A note to the skipper of the Watersfield game: bat second!

3 Player Availability

It was agreed that acting as captain for a match is onerous and that players need to make their availability known as soon as possible and should adhere to that availability rather than pulling out on a Saturday morning because they haven’t heard from the skipper for a few days. J commented that he didn’t know what he was doing tomorrow, never mind in several weeks’ time.

We’d like to use the Website/Blog so that players can advertise their availability. We reiterated that Thursday evening was the time for confirmation of availability and agreed that the Captain’s Log was a helpful aide mémoire.

We declared that it was the outgoing skipper’s responsibility on a Sunday evening to clarify who his successor would be for the next match and that availability for said match should be recorded in the Captain’s Log before players disperse after a game.

4 The Tournament

In the wake of the disgraceful scenes during the 2005 Tournament Final the Beamers’ future involvement was put to the vote.

The majority of Beamers voted to continue with the Tournament in its current form against the Trafalgar and the London Spoonity, but we agreed that the fourth team over the past couple of years have been unsatisfactory and that a better regular oppo needs to be found. The Palmers were put forward as a possibility.

With regard to the bad blood generated this year the general view was that the Unity are the Unity and that the Beamers were being lily-livered, bleeding-hearted girls’ blouses for agonising over the issue so much and that we should play them again next year and stuff them out of sight. Individual Beamers were to listen to their consciences and act accordingly.

The issue of umpiring standards was raised and Simon agreed to try and recruit a “couple of old geezers in white coats” to act as neutral umpires in the hope that they would instil a better sense of fair play in all cricketers. Steve mentioned that he had once won the Spirit of the Game award in Ultimate Frisbee, but confessed that marijuana had played a large part in his being awarded the prize.

In his capacity as Club Captain, Rob N agreed to arrange a meeting with John S, Nigel T and Mark D to discuss the “rules of engagement” before the 2006 Tournament. He wasn’t looking forward to it.

5 Nets

We’d like to continue at Brighton College, please. Frank mentioned that Steve “No Jug” Bassam’s Preston Village team were struggling and that they would welcome sharing our Thursday nets. It was hoped that there might be some cross pollination/fertilization between the teams. Frank said he would pursue this. Musso said “I’ll give it two weeks”. Jonners welcomed the prospect of increased revenue.

Rob N agreed to investigate the possibility of sharing winter nets with the Palmers.

6 Legal & Insurance

Never in the field of Beamer AGMs has so little been discussed by so many for so long for no reason.

After much circumlocution we agreed on what we already knew, i.e. that we have to have insurance. Frank admitted that it was “all bollocks”, but promised to arrange things and very graciously waived his fee.

There was much discussion as to whether we were covered if the Beast hit a six into a passing pram and Niall was concerned that his habitual cries of “Beast! Beast!” from the boundary might be construed as incitement to negligence if we ever ended up in court.

7 Kit

It was agreed that we need to take better care of the kit as several items had been lost on match days.

Niall was keelhauled for not keeping his promise of producing an inventory of kit items. Suitably chastened, he agreed to make good his promise this year.

It was suggested that the skipper of the day might nominate a couple of players to be responsible for the kit. Niall, still smarting from his keelhauling, objected on the grounds that if he had scored 167 not out to win the Tournament he wouldn’t be in any mood to put the kit away nicely even if he’d been nominated by the skipper. Jonners said that if he scored 167 not out he would do anything. At this point Wayne opted not to indulge in a second jug of Stella, Niall attempted to pay his 2007 subs, and someone was told to “Shut the fuck up” by the Club Captain.

We decided to replace the current Match Kit bag, which would be used as the Net Kit bag. The current Net Kit bag will be recycled/jettisoned.

It was agreed that nets would finish at eight o’clock sharp so that Frank didn’t have to wait around for the kit.

8 Official Posts

Thanks were recorded for all those Beamers who had performed in various posts this year and there were no changes for 2006, though Steve said he wanted to be Assistant Rob Nicholls.

Jeremy agreed to look into buying some new bats for next season and was christened Bat Cave.

Match day captains for 2006 will be:

Frank (no max. stated), Wayne (1 on tour), Siddo (1), Jeremy (Ham + 1/2 others), Simon (Northants + 1), Steve (1), Niall (Chiggers), Rob N (1), Beast (Benfield Valley) and Musso (1!). In absentia Pete (1) and Dave were confirmed as skippers.

9 Social Events

Beast & Jo confirmed their generous hosting of the annual Elephant Meal at 9*&^%$£”! on Friday 18th November.

Jeremy & Emma have kindly agreed to host the Christmas Cocktail Party at ?@~}{+_)(~#} ??~ on Saturday 17th December.

Siddo proposed a cycle to the Swan at Falmer, up to Devil’s Dyke and then a freewheel home. Asked whether he was starting the Brighton Beamers Cycling Club he replied “It’s just a fucking bike ride!”

Frank suggested a social event (at Addison Towers?) involving curry, a quiz and music.

10 The Grand Finale

Beamers Poet Laureate Hugh Parrott concluded proceedings with a wonderful poem commemorating the AGM and congratulating Steve on the birth of little Freya. The final stanza was spoilt somewhat, though, by the barman shouting “Start to finish up now, please!” half way through. Nevertheless, the poem provided a rousing end to the meeting.

Twineham & Wineham

Sunday, October 23rd, 2005


Jimminy Millie Kricket.

Saturday, October 15th, 2005

Jim & Millie
Some much needed weather on the blog on its way any time soon, for now something rosy to look upon