Archive for July, 2010

The Good Ship Beamer Hits St Michael’s Rock

Tuesday, July 13th, 2010

Let’s be honest, a Beamers batting line-up with a top five containing three Rigbys, a Hewie and a slightly crocked and seriously dehydrated Moors should have found a target of 198 more within our grasp than proved to be the case. On a pitch which held few demons (although it was a little livelier than their skipper suggested at the toss), a fast outfield and with only one bowler proving a real handful, The Beamers’ response to the challenge was disappointing and deflation was the predominant emotion on the boundary as successive shipwrecked batsmen swum back to shore, dodging sharks and shaking their heads sadly at their fate.

In chasing such a target, what we needed was partnerships. What we got, I’m afraid, was a series of people being suckered by – admittedly well disguised – slower balls, some suicidal running between the wickets and very few glimmers of hope, principally when Billy was briefly biffing away. Before long we were fatally holed beneath the waterline, with a win out of the question and an elongated clinging on for the draw the only remaining straw left to clutch. In such circumstances, The Beamers typically look to the lower order to provide some light relief, and we were not to be disappointed.

First candidate for the Cat o’ Nine Tails was John, whose huge heave-ho in response to the instruction to play for a draw drew the question, “What were you thinking of?” from God on his return to the beach. For true comedy, however, we had to turn to Isaac and Jonners who, after playing sensibly for a number of overs, contrived what is certainly the most horrific run-out I have ever seen. When you are left asking not whether the batsmen crossed before the stumps were broken, but how many times they passed each other, you know you’ve been witness to something very special…

A couple of overs later, what barely passed for our innings foundered with the SS Beamer some distance from safety and we were heading home to watch what barely passed for a football match.

And yet; oh – and yet, it had all started so promisingly when we launched our vessel 5 hours earlier. After we won the toss and inserted, the honour of breaking the champagne bottle went to Isaac, who after some early radar problems bowled tightly and caused both openers trouble. A spell of 6 overs for 4 runs, only one of which came from the bat, was a worthy follow-up to his fine outing at Palmers. He was partnered by Marlon operating at full steam ahead down the hill, finding lift and movement, beating the bat two or three times an over and seemingly only one point off the starboard beam away from precipitating a collapse. A dozen overs into their innings and, while Lewes had all their wickets intact, they had barely passed 20 and the waters were deceptively calm.

Initially, my decision to make a change at both ends seemed a sound one, with both Andy and John asking questions and the only damage being to Maf’s knee and my finger. Soon, however, there followed a catastrophic navigational error: John dismissing both their openers. Crucially, this let in the Lewes number 3, a chunky gentleman with a straightforward and effective technique; regardless of who was bowling, he hit the ball vast distances. Within a few overs, bowled by John, Andy, Billy and myself, he had passed 50 and looked set for many more before being forced overboard by, if I may say so, a classic piece of Dob.

While it was good to see his broad back disappearing up the steps, the swell was increasing and the ball continued to be dispatched to all points of the compass. With catches being dropped or not going to hand with monotonous regularity and, in spite of a couple more wickets being taken, the Lewes score mounted, what proved to be an insurmountable target was set and optimistic talk at tea of the chase to come was sadly without foundation.


Law 42 (Fair and Unfair Play)

Tuesday, July 13th, 2010

For the avoidance of doubt, this is Clause 15 of Law 42: Bowler attempting to run out non-striker before delivery – The bowler is permitted, before entering his delivery stride, to attempt to run out the non-striker. The ball shall not count in the over.
The umpire shall call and signal Dead ball as soon as possible if the bowler fails in the attempt to run out the non-striker.