2010 Fixtures List Published

25.04 Angmering CC (H) PP RN
9.05 Chigwell (E.Brighton) NCh
16.05 Tangmere CC (A) RS
23.05 TBA AE
6.06 Burgess Hill CC (A) AE
13.06 Ansty CC (H) PP FR
20.06 Portslade CC (A) BH
27.06 Preston Park CC (H) PP FR
4.07 Palmers CC (A) BR
11.07 Lewes St Michaels CC (A) AE
18.07 Ditchling CC (A)FR
25.07 TBA FR
1.08 Crawley Down CC (A) BR
8.08 Seaford Seagulls CC (A) BH
15.08 TBA
22.08 TBA BR
5.09 Hove Unicorns CC (H) PP RN
12.09 Watersfield CC (A) FR
19.09 Angmering CC (A) NC
26.09 Twineham CC (A) JC

Download links for printing your own copy:

2010_FIXTURES_INSIDE.pdf

FIXTURES_2010_OUTSIDE_EDGE.pdf

Late News - Typically Rainy Tour Interrupted By Both Shock Cricket Match and a Peruvian Visitor

After seeing our traditional Thursday tour opener at Filleigh called off at the eleventh hour due to a water-logged pitch, the Beamers spent Friday cloud-watching and praying to the Devon weather-gods that the Twenty-20 thrash-a-thon at Bratton Fleming would be on.

Things immediately took a turn for the worse on arrival – an overcast day that had threatened rain finally delivered as the skippers left the pavilion for the toss. Thankfully it was but a brief trickle, and as debut-captain I was grateful for the increased moisture in the air which enabled me to win the toss and insert the hosts to bat on a slanty pudding of a pitch, with two incredibly short boundaries.



... the rain stopped just long enough for Peruvian visitor Towser to snap this ...






At Frank’s suggestion it was agreed with the oppo that each outfielder would have to bowl 2 overs – the half-truth that we wanted to ensure everyone had a bit of a game having travelled such a distance on tour was put forward in support of the idea, the fact that we had an XI chock full of bowling ability strangely wasn’t.

With Jeremy on the money right from the off, ably supported up by Mark Renshaw coming up the hill, the openers were kept quiet initially although the first change pair of Musso and Joe went for a few as the burly number 2 began to swing the bat in a manner befitting the rural landscape. Luck was on his side, and though the boundaries were initially not being troubled too often, strike was rotated and the scoreboard kept ticking along nicely. Midway through the innings, and with the pitch continuing to prove troublesome for bowlers and batsmen alike with its very slow, very low bounce (not to mention the resolute Jonners behind the timbers), the twin spin attack of Rigby and A&E were called upon to break the opening partnership.

A devastating 4-over spell followed in which Frank struck in his first over to remove the well-set number 1. A&E followed with the type of unplayable Dob for which he is renowned, bamboozling the young number 3 before Frank returned to send the number 4 swiftly back to the pavilion.

Siddo, having dropped a straight-forward catch off A&E 2 overs previously, was quickly offered the chance to redeem himself off his own bowling, but couldn’t make it stick, whilst Beast applied steady pressure from the bottom end, unleashing the trademark roar and taking the fourth wicket of the innings shortly thereafter, at which point Beamers had vague hopes of restricting BF to under 100. I closed the innings with Rob Nic, and although a further wicket fell, bringing the average age of the Beamers wicket-takers down to the lower side of 50, BF finished with 108, with the opener bagging an unbeaten half-century.

A hastily knocked up batting order saw Frank and Joe stride confidently into the gloom to begin the Beamers innings, although the challenge ahead was soon brought into sharp context as Joe missed a straight ball which failed to bounce more than an inch off a shortish length. The next over saw one of the more remarkable pieces of fielding of the season as Frank was caught by an athletic diving catch by BF’s not out opening bat. The jury’s still out on who was more surprised – Frank, the fielder or his BF team-mates.

Less than 3 overs in the Beamers were in trouble at not-many for 2, a situation which hardly improved through 8 further overs of slow accumulation, despite the unsuccessful efforts of Beast to launch the ball to all corners of Devon. Murmurs of concern were growing on the boundary as Beast and I continued to plod our way to 44-2 off 11 overs.

Sensing momentum not so much slipping away as disappearing over the horizon waving the finger, and with plenty of batting to come, the decision was made to up the run rate. A banquet of boundaries followed: I hit a young leg-spinner back over his head and the hedge on the short boundary to earn a much-needed rest as a search party was dispatched to retrieve the ball, Beast struck the same bowler skywards, only to see the boundary fielder hold a steepling catch… then take a step backwards over the rope for another maximum. Failing to recapture the magic of innings-past, Beast made a Captain Oates-like excursion from his crease, Jeremy replacing him as I continued to ‘go aerial’ at the other end.

With a round 30 required from the final 3 overs Jeremy was stumped and replaced by Rob N, and a decent pace bowler was replaced by the successful BF opener, who took it upon himself to prove that although a fine batsman and fielder he may be, the term ‘all-rounder’ was applicable only to his physique. Leaving gaps in the field and placing most of his fielders in the area from midwicket to long-on proved unsuccessful in stemming the flow as the run-rate continued to accelerate, the winning 6 being hit with two balls to spare.

Great thanks must be given to Bratton Fleming, who as well as generously agreeing to the suggestion on bowling restrictions which clearly favoured the touring team, and contributing to a thoroughly enjoyable and ultimately close contest, also provided a decent crowd to watch the match, found time to feed us with a fine BBQ and were generally magnificent hosts.

Nick

Beamers in Sinister Return to Form

A chaotic week of “selection” leading up to August 30th’s hastily arranged game away to Wadhurst Sunday 2nds, with withdrawals on the Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday, was not enough to put the 10 Man Beamers off their considerable stride.

After finally finding the ground, winning the toss and electing to bat, a new opening partnership of Maf and Sanjay was going along steadily enough until disaster struck in the form of two “interesting” decisions from Hangman John leaving both openers shaking their heads ruefully and, in Maf’s case, muttering about revenge.


There then followed a period in which The Beamers’ innings entered The Doldrums and became becalmed. Some of this was due to Mr Brett playing himself in typically studiously and some because every time Nick played an attacking shot, it went straight to a fielder. Unfortunately, a period of troubling the scorer by repeatedly asking him merely to place another dot in the scorebook was ended when Nick was about as lbw as it’s possible to be.

Fortunately for the skipper’s blood pressure (always a worry, frankly) Marlon strode to the crease looking as though he meant business and eager to justify his elevation in the order. A combination of elegant shot making, meaty drives and hilarious running between the wickets from Simon, Marlon and Ben saw the Beamers to approximately 170 for 6 – the highlight being Marlon’s 50 which featured a six that cleared two hedges, a road and a grassy knoll before nestling robustly in some nettles, there to be left undisturbed for some later civilisation’s archaeologists to discover.


With 30 minutes or so to go, Albert Pierrepoint joined Rob Nic at the crease with the exhortation from his skipper to express himself (and the exhortation from Maf to go **** himself) ringing in his ears. Luckily, John was listening to me, so he and Rob swung the bat mightily, taking the score rapidly up to 230 before they were called in 5 minutes early.

After a very tasty tea, the Beamers took to the field with some concerns about the very short boundary at one end – a tricky field to defend with one man down? Still, 230 would be enough wouldn’t it? With Rob Nic bowling well down the hill without much luck (apart from dismissing their skipper caught by Maf in the covers off a wide long hop, which qualifies as lucky for any number of reasons I guess) and with John struggling with his radar coming up the hill, the score was mounting steadily and questions were being asked about the lack of bowling support and the early declaration.

As any fool knows, what a team really needs in such circumstances are some left-armers to come on and bowl; luckily we had a couple. Firstly, Gordy replaced John coming up the hill and after a few sighters troubled everyone who faced him and soon dismissed numbers 1 & 3, one to an outstanding catch by Nick at square leg. With three wickets down and things looking a bit more under control, it seemed like a good time for me to say, “Thanks Rob – nice spell” and bring myself on to Dob some down the hill.

Modesty naturally forbids me from reporting how many victims resulted, but with one bowled and one beautifully caught by Mr Brett followed by three stumpings by Ben you can probably work out that it was a reasonable number... With another victim for the on-fire Gordy and Kneeless Nick’s seeing off of their 11 year old and despite some comedy fielding (we didn’t drop a single catch but the ground fielding was terrible at times), The Beamers wrapped up the game in fine style with 15 overs to go and with Wadhurst still nearly 100 runs behind.

Beers, boasts and banter in the bar followed as naturally as John, Marlon and Maf leaving without paying their match fees. Seaford Seagulls? Who are they?

A&E

Portslade 21 June - Benfield Valley

The approach to Benfield Valley takes you through Sainsbury's car park and past the petrol station hawking fuel at "1p off per litre with every £50 spent in store". Once past the smell of diesel a sharp left turn brings you out into an unexpected setting. The tree enclosed pitch headed by the pavilion cum bar gives no clue as to the immediate surroundings. Only the occasional motorbike with no heed to urban speed limits gives away the fact that this pitch is enclosed beyond the verdure by main roads and industry.

The start of the game was not the normal calm approach favoured by Beamers' skippers. A case of lost car keys meant that the vice captain (the always dependable F Rigby) had to carry out the toss in the absence of any higher authority. The toss won and with wise understanding of the state of some senior batsmen's heads Frank chose to field. (Beamers arriving home at 4.00am the night before a match will be discussed at the next disciplinary hearing!). The actual skipper, by this time tearing along the Old Shoreham Road, was informed by telephone of the situation. Clarke and Cordery were informed via the same medium that they were to open the bowling.

At 2.28 there were 8 Beamers on the pitch. At 2.29 and 30 seconds we had the full compliment of 11 and with only the faintest hint of flusteredness the Beamers had transformed into the honed machine that has destroyed many a batting line up.
Nick Clarke opened up with a salvo of pacey length bowling and we only had to wait until his third over for the killer leg stump yorker to come into play ripping out the stumps of the promising number 3. Isaac Cordery bowling medium fast left arm over from the Shoreham Road end was loose to start with but once the correct line had been found became trickier and prior to the Clarke wicket had found the outside edge of a wafty poke, the ball looping to a grateful Nicholls swooping at gulley. 20 odd for 2.

Out came the number 4. Skipper, left-handed and described by Rigby F as having a gait and demeanour not dissimilar to Kepler Wessels. He was to prove troublesome.
Cordery was replaced by Nicholls and what followed was 5 overs of the best example of medium paced swingy, lengthy, seamy, drifty mesmerising bowling that Benfield Valley is ever likely to witness. A staunch in the flow of runs and two wickets taking out off stump was the reward for his efforts. "I've no idea where this has come from" was the bowler's insight to the killer spell. 74-4
7 overs of spearing pace from the pavilion end saw the end of Clarke's impressive opening spell and he wandered off to fine leg to nurse another slightly sore head.
On came the leg spin of Rigby R. Although whether the ball or his head was spinning the most is a matter for debate. Despite defeating the bat almost every other ball there was no joy until a leading edge from one that turned back into the right hander became a smartly taken caught and bowled. There was also unfortunately the biggest 6 of the day dispatched (by what looked like a league player to us)into the car park scattering shoppers and shopping alike. Small boys were sent into the thorny bushes to find the ball. Beamers were making steady progress but the left handed captain proved immovable and his 50 arrived.

Nicholls was replaced by Chafey who inspired his captain into the change with " if you like, but last time I bowled like a drain". More train than drain this time though and with 3-36 Chafey produced the best bowling figures of the day. A nicely taken catch at mid off by Ryan Nixon saw to the big hitter. This fielding display was not emulated at mid on where the skipper dropped a skier and a drive in the same over and performed mis-fields and acrobatics in a display of comic inconsistency. After studying the wreckage of another spilled chance Chafey decided to take the advice of Rigby B and promptly bowled his next victim. Another safe catch in the gulley by Nicholls brought the oppo to 8 down.

The left handed skipper was still there and was taking a liking to Riggers leg spin.
With a final throw of the dice the skipper brought on himself and Eaton A to close out the innings. A&E had some joy with a successful LBW against a failed reverse sweep.

The left handed skipper was still there. And sadly still there at the end when he successfully completed his century and declared leaving Eaton high and dry with no potential victims to snaffle. 227-9 dec.

Having received retribution from one of the hangovers about negativity during the first innings the skipper became upbeat about what looked like a large total. With the words "good pitch", "short boundary", "fast outfield" and "hangovers clearing" still echoing off the shrubbery a very tasty tea was taken.

The plan, as I recall it, was for the openers Rigby F and Rigby R to take stock over the first 10 overs, score what was on offer but take no chances. After 10 overs the acceleration would take us beyond the required run-rate and Rigby B and Clarke N could take over once the openers had been seen off and bring us home. The engine room of Nixon, Chafey and Nicholls were in the wings if needed to wrap things up.
A good plan which sadly failed to take into account either the pace of the opening left armer or crucially the quality of the oppositions fielding and catching which , it has to be said, was outstanding.

Rigby R clipped a couple of lovely boundaries before falling to a sharp catch at gulley from a wide half volley.

Rigby F, looking very solid and rock-like, fell to one that moved away off the seam and was taken in the mid-riff of second slip. Sadly this all took place in the first three overs and, despite the interesting scorers fact that after 1.1 overs we had had one of each type of extra, the second phase of the master plan was brought into operation about 8 overs too early.

All was not lost though and the next 10 or so overs saw a nice partnership developing between Rigby B and Clarke N. Ben at his belligerent best and Nick ensuring that phase 3 of the master plan would not have to be brought forward kept us well up with and beyond the run rate.

It couldn't last however and eventually Nick fell in the same way as Riggers and gulley took a superb catch which he didn't look like he expected to hold judging by the surprised expression on his face.

Joined at the crease by Ryan who played well for his partner, Ben battled on until he finally fell on 47. A little like Custer's last stand the heroes were falling and the circle of whooping indians was tightening.

Nicholls joined Chafey in the fray only to be another victim of a ridiculously good catch in the slips.

Out marched the skipper and amongst the hail of arrows and with smoke drifting across the bodies strew over the blood soaked ground Siddens and Chafey drew up the their final plans. A simple matter of a stand of 127 in 20 overs. As Custer discovered things don't always go to plan. A few overs of defiance saw the skipper finally fall to a burning arrow with his name on it which was chipped weakly to short extra.

With the remnants of his comrades scattered around him Chafey battled on with one incredible over going for 16. The Beamers thin ray of hope was dashed an over later as the valiant Chafey was bowled (in an all round man-of-the-match-worthy effort) for 49.

The chance of victory was gone but could we survive the remaining 11 overs. Isaac, Andrew Eaton and Jonners were all that stood between Portslade and victory.
A fine innings by Isaac including two beautiful leaves for 4 byes was not enough sadly to stall the inevitable for long. A spitting delivery with extra bounce caught the shoulder of Eaton's bat and a shorter ball was missed by Isaac. Jonners, bereft of partners could do nothing but surrender and was lost amongst the swarms of victorious Blackfoot and Sioux.

It wasn't until later that the reason for our defeat became obvious. As the Beamers collectively licked wounds and drank the bar dry of on tap bitter the victorious Portslade were back on the pitch practising with a stump for a bat and and fielding like their lives depended on it.
But in the evening sunshine with the youngsters dashing about it felt right as a Beamer to be sitting back reflecting on the game with a glass of " Fursty Ferret" to hand.

Siddo

Wall of Spin (c) Demolished in a Game of Two Halves

After a typically Beameresque opening (The Beamers plus oppo turn up at East Brighton. Spare oppo turn up at Preston Park. Skipper gets phonecall from Musso notifying him about location of spare oppo in case he needs them. Team agree that Musso seems to be losing it. Musso feels negative vibes and phones skipper again to mention an email he sent to spare oppo in March cancelling fixture...), the match started on time at 14:30, with A&E losing the toss and The Beamers being invited to bat by the Southwater skipper on a decent looking pitch in lovely and sunny East Brighton in a 40 overs game.

Scoring proved tricky in conditions conducive to swing against tight bowling and energetic fielding – at least, that's what was reported by a steady stream of batsmen trooping back to the hutch. With a few wobbles along the way, a steady knock by Pete and some excellent hitting by Billy (40) and Ben (45 no), married with a late flurry of silky strokes by God (regaining his touch delightfully), were taking us towards a defendable total when disaster struck.

No, I'm not referring to Maf's inability to distinguish between making use of his abilities (his glorious drive for four off his first ball) and being The Entertainer (getting out again swishing across the line a couple of balls later). Even worse than this, the rain clouds which had been threatening to deposit their load on lovely (and now rather less sunny) East Brighton proceeded to do so. So instead of The Beamers' 151 off 35 overs being Ben and Gordy's launch pad to something special (and with A&E and Jonners champing at the bit, who knows what glorious heights could have been reached?), it became the target for Southwater to chase.

Imagine the turmoil the skipper felt as the rain clouds cleared and the Southwater openers strode out to bat – our only seamer was Gordy, with the Wall of Spin (c) to follow and a red ball of soap without the rope to bowl with...

But glory be – Golden Arm strikes in the first over (nice catch, Ben) and a victory looks very much up for grabs. Until we realise that we were up against an Oppo Left-Handed Opener Who Could Actually Bat A Bit. As in, had already got three centuries this season. For their first team. Bugger.

In spite of sterling efforts from Gordy and the Wall of Spin (c) in now terrible bowling conditions, the score rose at an alarming rate, punctuated only by another good catch by Ben off Riggers (not the OL-HOWCABAB unfortunately), a couple of close calls and some comedy fielding by the skipper, including a retrieval of the ball from the second tier of the East Brighton terracing which was hopefully not captured on camera. (Am a little concerned that Siddo, watching on the sidelines, may have been packing a Pentax...)

And then. Too little, too late: chaos. With 20 runs to win, the skipper finally acknowledges his responsibility to contribute to the team's performance and brings himself on. Three overs of Dob generate three wickets (a collector's item stumping from Jonners, and a couple of good catches from Pete and Billy) and with another Riggers victim (thanks to a wonderful catch from Billy) Southwater were suddenly 6 wickets down – best of all, the OL-HOWCABAB was out for 98.

The scores were level: could The Beamers pull off a miraculous tie?

(Controversially, if we bowled them out, would we even win on fewer wickets lost?)

No.

Southwater win by 4 wickets.

Burgess Hill

Burgess Hills' Innings

Beamers'

Burgess Hill Tommorow

Tangmere Match Report

Cold, wet and frankly a day for calling it off. But we didn't and we
played.
A prompt 2.10 start saw the beamers win the toss and decide to bowl. The
thinking being that poor early batting conditions would be replaced
later scorching sunshine, successful run chase! With Tangmere at 153 - 0
the skipper was beginning to have second thoughts. The game started in
sunshine with some highish whispy cloud and a damp pitch. The opening
attack of Mussett (first outing of the season and only 3 short of the
second time he will have passed 500 Beamer's wickets) and Lowe
(returning after last week's searing second spell) bowled with pace,
tenacity and in Marlon's case accuracy. Pete Bailey behind the stumps
was having to be at his acrobatic best for the occasional Musso ball
which just drifted past the leg stump.
Four overs later and it started to drizzle. Not hard enough to go off
but hard enough to turn Marlon's cricketing spikes into footwear
normally seen adorning the lower limbs of Torville and Dean.
Run ups shortened, pace dropped, runs flowed.
The skidding Lowe was replaced by the now frowning skipper who trundled
in for a few with one notable delivery missing the outside edge by a
whisker and three not so notable full tosses casually dispatched over
mid-wicket for 6!
Muttering Musset was replaced by the veteran Renshaw who bowled with
dependable length and inswing. Sadly it was not to be Mark's day either
with none of the several, admittedly difficult, half chances staying in
the fielders grip for long enough for the umpire to decide that the ball
was fully under control.
Time to turn to spin.
From the bottom end beautiful, nagging line and length off-spin from the
Southern Hemispherean left arm of Billy Hughie (spelling?). From the top
end the distinctive spitting leg breaks of Rigby R. That slowed them
donw a bit!
Jan was masterful in her timing of arriving with the paper cups just in
time for the drinks break and only just after the Tangmere opening bat
enquired of the skipper as to whether drinks were "problematic".
An inspiring team talk was all that was needed to refuel and rejuvenate
the slightly sagging moral of the by now rather soggy Beamers and after
drinks new optimism was evident. Hughie (spelling?) with 11-0-3-17
reduced the oppo to nervous twitching sloggers and Rigby chipped in with
some bamboozlment of his own and even a rare LBW pitching on leg and
staying straight.
With the end of the innings approaching Mussett was brought back from
the top end to rediscover some magic and rip out the tail, a plan which
was only patially successful.
Tangmere 221 - 4
With a rather large hill to climb the skipper decided to open with thte
big guns only to find that the young gun had pulled hamstring and could
barely walk. A runner was discussed and very rapidly dismissed as
foolishness.
And so experience was decided upon for a thoughtful platform with the
fireworks to come later. At 1-2 another rethink was in order!
In walks the Southern Hemispherean left arm this time with the rest of
his limbs accompanied by Maf "do not, whatever else you do, play across
the line"Moor.
A splendid exhibition of hitting provided us with some hope Billy 44,
Maf 20. In comes the Sri Lanken Marlon Lowe slightly up in the order and
how he responded. Measured defence and attack resulting in a superb 40.
This was followed by Rigby R with a flowing, gracious 31.
The sad truth though wsa the run rate which started at about 6 had
climbed to over 10 and with the fall of Riggers we dhad to batton down
the hatches and not only against the rain which had persisted throughout
the innings to make the day unpleasant.
It was left to Bailey and Rigby B (hamstring, no runner and indeed no
running at all) to see out the last 4 overs which they successfully did.
A draw Beamers remain unbeaten in 2009.
Well done to Tangmere by the way for an exhibition of batting and
sticking at the fielding in the sogginess when many would have whinged
and pulled off. A fine group of men who we will be pleased to visit next
year.

Tangmere Inns

Beamers'

Siddo writes:

Crawley Down B-Lowe-n away!

Rob Nic writes:

Headliners cried off (again) so we needed an emergency fixture and boy did Frank find us a cracker. Picturesque village ground encircled with a variety of trees, old pavilion with changing rooms round the back but more importantly tables (and bar!) inside groaning with all kinds of home made goodies...

Toss won, oppo inserted - Beamers, somethings are written in stone. But not necessarily opening bowling - Lowe first but then R Rigby (shades of Strauss at Lords perchance). And it was good - Marlon testing the well-built oppo skipper who chanced his arm and fetched a few streaky boundaries and runs came quickly. The first changes soon came to the rescue though - A&E with a couple of wickets including one with the 'slower' (?!?) ball and particularly Siddo, with 1 for 19 off 8, both bowling remarkably parsimonious spells.

Catches went down but wickets fell regularly with Rigby senior and the skipper picking up a few but it was the return to the openers that sealed Crawley Down's fate. Marlon ended his first spell with the skipper's wicket, he ended the second spell with the rest in a blistering display of fast bowling.

The tea. Just like the good old days - sitting on the outfield in the sunshine stuffing our faces with homemade goodies including some particularly tasty brownies (and not in the Preach style either).

Bailey and Brett, that well known firm of solicitors, opened steadily but it was the arrival of Rigby B with a new bat to knock in which started the unseasonal fireworks. Biff, Bang and indeed Pow with 17 in one over alone took us closer to home and he finished with a brutal 61.

His cousin, sporting a dashing headband and cap combination (and for a few overs no box, such was his daring) continued the good work assisted in a match winning partnership by Siddo, who with 28 capped a fine all round display.

A few team mates fell by the wayside but the result was never in doubt (well, ok it was a little bit) and with Jonners on the boundary eager as a beaver with a new dam to build the winning runs were expertly edged through the slips to the joy of the capacity crowd (ie Jan).

We finished an absolutely spiffing day with more scrummy cakes and lashings of London Pride...

Crawley Down Inns

Beamers'

Angmering

Beamers' Inns

Angmering's

Sumer is icumen in, Lhude sing Musso

Yes, it's that time again. The early stirrings from Beamerland have already been spotted in the indoor nets at the County Ground: the first life-threatening bouncer from J; the first supple-shouldered booming leg break from Alex; the first attempt to safely gather in the net fees from Rob; the first "we'll get 'em in sixes" swipe from Ali; the first sarcastic comment to the effect that, "you're not turning it much" directed at me. All present. All, sadly, correct.

But what's that I hear? Is it the dulcet tones of Grand Net Master Rob reminding us that outdoor (yes, in the sunshine no less) nets start on Thursday April 16th from 6.30-8pm at the fine facilities provided to us by our friends at Brighton College?

I think it is...

Let's get ready to Beamer!

A&E

2009 Fixtures in draft

19/04 Southern Cross A (Horsdean)
26/04 Angmering CC H (Preston Park)
03/05 BANK HOLIDAY
10/05 Headliners H (Preston Park)
17/05 Tangmere H (Preston Park)
24/05 Burgess Hill CC H (Preston Park)
31/05 Preston Park A (Preston Park)
07/06 Rustington OR Southwater H (Preston Park)
14/06 Ansty A (Ansty)
21/06 Portslade A (Benfield Valley)
28/06 TBA H
05/07 Palmers A (Hove Rec)
12/07 Lewes St Michaels A (Convent Field, Lewes)
19/07 Ditchling A (Ditchling)

The Tour:
23/07 Filliegh A (Filliegh)
24/07 Bratton Flemming A (Bratton Fleming (20:20))
26/07 Ilfracombe A (Ilfracombe)


09/08 Seaford Seagulls A (Newlands School, Seaford)
16/08 TBA
23/08 TBA
30/08 Southwick Wanderers H (Preston Park)
13/09 Watersfield A (Watersfield)
20/09 Chigwell CC H (Preston Park)
27/09 Twineham & Wineham A (Twineham)

AGM part II

John Riches records:

Beamers AGM 2 – 10th December 2008

In attendance: John R., Ben, Maf, Jonners, God and Riggers (not many, eh?)

Apologies: Robs Nicholls and Siddons.

The main item being the held-over Treasurer’s Report (and after John R and Frank paid their overdue subs, with Frank feeling so guilty he paid next year in advance as well; Maf also handed over a overdue match fee), we launched straight into it:

Annotated from Jonners verbal report
‘Not good year, bad weather meant less games, therefore income down; low level of subs; people need to come to nets with money; some people – MUSSO, MARK and SIDDO, THIS MEANS YOU! – owe one or two net/and or match fees; MARLON!!! ELEPHANT WINNER!!! YOU’VE NOT PAID YOUR YEARLY SUBS!! MAF IS DISAPPOINTED IN YOU!!’ (Discussion then ensued as to whether Marlon should be summarily stripped of the title, a course of action not felt necessary as long as Marlon spills the readies forthwith)

There followed discussion about higher match fees if subs aren’t paid; this was agreed to be £7.00 per game.

We have £141.16p in the bank (with another £80.00 collected tonight) totalling £221.16p. The bill for pitches is £254.98, although two were in fact cancelled, and there’s a disputed cancellation for another, bringing bill down to either £165.00 or £110.00. THEN there will be kit bills etc, and Frank mentioned that we need some Umpire’s coats.

It was agreed that people should pay their subs in advance of nets starting, but Jonners pointed out that it’s not a very nice thing to have to chase people, and ‘it would be nice if people volunteered money’. So! a new ethos, with accompanying slogan, was agreed with the aim of inspiring Beamers to dip into their pockets before being asked:
‘PLEASED TO PLAY – PLEASED TO PAY!’.
(Maf suggested that maybe this new slogan should adorn cricket caps, which would only be awarded upon payment of subs).

The Rigby’s Fitness Update; Frank and Richard are both on the mend, and will be back in action next season. Phew.

Beamer’s Christmas Party: Who will host??!! It was stressed that we should all keep the 20th December free, but somebody needs to come forward and offer to allow their house to be the site for general merriment and vomiting. A deadline for offers and decision is set for THIS SUNDAY, 14TH DECEMBER!

Officer’s posts; John R pointed out that these had all been agreed at the previous AGM, with Musso indicating that he would do it for one more year unless anybody wanted to take over. Maf said that he is happy to shadow Musso this year, with a view to doing so.

Concern was raised that the Secretary – hello Siddo! – has a number of other commitments that may have affected his ability to remember dates, bring pens to voting, and attend meetings; in the best possible spirit, help was offered by Frank.

Maf proposed a vote of confidence in the Treasurer, which was heartily agreed.

END.

AGM Minutes

John Riches with assistance from Ben Rigby records:



Brighton Beamers AGM, The Battle of Trafalgar, 9th October 2008

It was chaos really, a combination of short – and possibly illegal – notice, too much beer, missing treasurers, late attendees and Maf’s insistence on dissecting the glorious victory at Twineham and Wineham at all points on the agenda, contributing to an overall air of raucous dishevelment.
What follows can only be a collection of snippets of conversations and allegations in the order, and increasing disorder, in which they occurred, with what passed for decisions in bold.
In attendance at 8.30, the appointed time: John Riches, Ben Rigby.
In attendance at other points: Maf, Siddo, A&E, Hugh, God, Rob Nicholls, Caveheart, Musso.
As Treasurer Jonners was reported to be in Iceland attempting to further destabilise that country’s banking collapse, many agenda items were not discussed.
Options and dates for the Elephant meal were outlined, those being the Chimney House and Mangerie on the 20th/21st or 27th/28th November. Frank added up the numbers, and we may have to go bigger. Suggestions, and commitments of availability welcome.
First calls went out to Fixture Secretary Musso to ascertain his whereabouts.
Jeremy is owed £300.00 for the purchase of two bats.
Chair Siddo arrived at 9.11pm, beating his last year record of being 15 minutes late.
Discussion on the Communications Structure. The Google group email is generally working well, with a few missing off the list. We should abandon the excel sheet for future availability, as hardly anyone uses it. We need more people to upload content onto the website, to ensure that it is happening and funky – starting with an up-to-date fixture list. Ben is going to do some sort of Ical link thing to the website, the meaning of which to many of us will only become apparent when it’s up.
Unattributed statement: ‘A website is like a sewer, what you get out of it is only what you put into it’. Ben: ‘Brown sludge’.
Agenda item 8) (sic)
Rob N is happy to continue arranging nets, altering the time from 6.15-8pm at Brighton College. We have to sort out stumps, as the College doesn’t supply them.
Maf has a small penis.
The College seem happy to keep the kit downstairs from the entrance. We need to have a system whereby each Beamer asks on the way in whether the kit has already been taken over.
Either A&E or Mr Cave’s dog let off the 3rd in a series of terrifying farts. I blame A&E, as Mr Cave can not be criticised as he then offered to look after both the match and practice kits; a hero, an absolute hero.
Rob will review the state of the kit in the Spring.
Jonners now rumoured to be in Brazil. 2nd calls to Fixture sec. Musso.
Winter nets are expensive - £28.00 per hour – but we may go for 3 nets on a Sunday evening from 8-9pm. It’s not thought to add to the overall skills portfolio of the Beamers, but is an excuse to have a pint.
Agenda item number (can you guess?) 5) Mr Cave mentioned the £300.00 again.
Triumph! Musso is contacted, and replies ‘Fuck, is it tonight?!’. One wonders what he was doing…
Mr Cave likes using the Team Box.
We should enough sets of stumps to nets to allow us to have them at the bowler’s end too. Ben felt that it would at least give Jonners a chance of hitting some…
Agenda item 6) Hugh was appointed Chairman of selectors and Director of Cricket, to general agreement but with little clarity to his role, responsibilities, and pay scale.
Once nominated, a match Captain ‘has to organise the next one’ (but I’m not sure what the ‘one’ is).
Hugh: ‘It’s probably something to do with marijuana’.
Fixtue Sec Musso arrives, flustered.
God appointed captain for all matches, pending volunteers. Maf expressed concern, but motion passed. Maf expressed concern again.
Fixtures: Headliners from Cuckfield are questionable, I think because we always play them away.
A&E will skipper Tangmere.
No Chigwell!
Mr Cave’s dog was lost, then found.
Musso will supply a list of fixtures and skippers.
Northants needs sorting. Siddo will contact Simon Smith as to this and Mr Smith’s commitment to Beamers.
Musso: ‘We can lose to anybody’.
Play the Brighton Exiles again, drop Patcham. Maf would like to skipper against Lewes, but they may drop us.
We should play a match the week before the tour.
Maf: ‘A woman goes into a bar, says to the barman ‘I’d like a double entendre’, the barman says ‘I’ll give you one’.’
Agenda item 4) Ditch North Molton on the tour, and Ilfracombe. Need to look for other teams. Some discussion on whether we go instead to Isle of Wight if Northants doesn’t happen, but it’s bloody expensive and is a shithole. John R, Maf and God have all had sex on the Isle of Wight (but not together).
Jeremy will contact Jim, whatever that means.
Item 7) All honorary posts will remain the same, but Musso will retire as Fixture Sec. in 2009 (the pressures of attending meetings on time evidently overwhelming him). Thanks were offered, and accepted.
A.O.B.
Clive and trousers.
Global warming.
Bring Your Own.
EGM noted.
We need a Treasurer’s report.
Exuent Stage Left.

P-P-Put Down By Penguins

It augured well: A rare sunny September morning; the Beamers, having been thwarted by capricious weather for most of this season, raring to go on their home turf; a Welsh visiting team who were reported to have had three nights on the lash; Captain Rob Nicholls winning the toss and capitalising on the bound-to-be-frail Welsh by putting them in to face the renowned pairing of Musso and Renshaw.

What followed were the longest 2 and a ½ hours of this scribe’s life. Early forays were promising, the Pwllheli Penguins pinned down by bowling straight and true. Then! Tragedy struck on Renshaw’s run-in; reduced to a canter, it was immediately apparent that a muscle was strained or torn, and his action consequently reduced to Dob. The Beamers’ mood slumped, and fell further when Jim Kerr – having spent the years since his last appearance for the Beamers plying his skills in cricketing backwaters like Australia – showed that time had indeed dulled his razor-sharp fielding skills, as he let a crawler go through for four.

Some clever bowling by Musso claimed the first wicket, but the going was hard, and against a talented Welsh strikeforce the Beamers were leeking (sorry, couldn’t resist…) too many unnecessary runs. Young Ben Rigby, taking Kerr’s lead, let a few through his normally-reliable fingers, Johnners at wicket-keeper let a few through his normally-reliable legs, and as time passed and the eyes repeatedly followed the ball towards the boundary, a figure was spotted; yes, the Dobmeister himself was observing the action, his tightly-folded arms indicating his displeasure, his scowl directed at the selectors…

Wickets fell oh-so-slowly – Gordon Young sporadically worked his magic by turning them this way and that – and the runs game quickly, and spectacularly; one six hit off Kerr is still travelling back down the M4. However, Kerr’s revenge came immediately with a contender for ball of the day - a beautiful Yorker - and his consistent probing line and length was an inspiration, some light amidst the gloom.
It was now apparent that the Welsh were not content to have spent three days drinking, and were opening the cans with zeal, whilst further undermining Beamers’ confidence by batsman-umpire chatting in their vowel-free language then laughing; the joke was on us, but we couldn’t understand the punchline. To cap it all, they appeared to be amusing themselves by directing their fours towards little girls cycling around the ground, like shooting fairground ducks.

Just before 4 o’clock, Mussett returned to the attack and used his well-honed craft to scupper another boyo; however a total of 210 certainly spoiled the otherwise faultless spread supplied by Pret-a-Rigby. My favourite was the chicken and chutney, a solid-yet-spicy combination surrounded by a hint of salad and a moist brown bread.

The Welsh continued their psychological warfare, with more cans opened and one of their number taking to the field wearing a comedy hat. No matter! Rigby and Pete Bailey were opening, so Maf at No.3 could put his feet up. Alas, the ball had started to move – a trait hardly seen since 1.45pm – and a beauty took Bailey out. Maf, for the 2nd week running, demonstrated his ability to stay at the crease and grind out a draw by swinging at a wrong’un and quickly returning to the bosom of his ecstatic teammates. Around this time the Captain remembered to tell some Beamers that he’d agreed with the Penguins that they could play 12 fielders, a charitable act akin to the taxpayer bailing out hedge fund managers.

Some also questioned Captain Nicholl’s selection of yours truly at No.4, including yours truly, and a few nervous prods gave substance to the worries; a slow but solid 13 covered a mishit by Rigby to mid off, a plum LBW for Nicholls, and a lively 14 from Ali that ended with a poorly-chosen lifter off a bit of Welsh Dob. The ‘higher order’ were gone.

Gordy followed soon after, LBW courtesy of a lifted finger from Maf that the Welsh hardly appealed for. Siddo turned up with children to urge the Beamers on, and was soon joined by the injured but otherwise physically perfect God Rigby, plaintively crying ‘What’s going on? WHAT’S GOING ON??!’ Beamers looked away, embarrassed, sheepish (could that count as another Welsh gag?).

By now one of the Penguins was visibly drunk, but against this flagrant breech of good sportsmanship and respect two Beamers nobly tried to make a contest of the day itself – a difficult task – and achieve the much less-contested accolade of Beamer’s Man of the Match. Showing fortitude, patience, tenacity and a sound cricketing brain, Musso and Kerr showed the higher order how to do it, momentarily worrying the opposition into thinking that the game could be spun out to a wholly-undeserved draw.
It was not to be, Musso going down to a ball that hardly rose off the pitch, and a brave Renshaw’s now hardly-moving leg ensuring that his usually nimble in-crease footwork was AWOL. Small consolation was offered by a total of 99 – which would have won last week’s game – and the skipper’s observation that we have been walloped by a group of Welsh drunks could not be gainsaid. A long – if hardly full – season showed on the Beamer’s countenance and demeanour throughout the day, and it is left to those lucky enough to be selected for Twineham, Wineham and Dine’em to salvage some pride for the team.