Brighton Beamers Cricket Club

The Northants Campaign

For reasons that will become clear I am not going to dwell long on the Saturday of this year's Northants Weekend.

It was awful.

The Sausages (3) egg and chips that the pace attack decided would help them bowl was not a great start. In fact most of the Beamers enjoyed a healthy lunch and, with a couple of pints to wash it down, by two thirty were about as lethargic as a flaccid hammock. I believe it was only Beast who went for the healthy option.

After last years debacle it was decided by the skippers that the Beamers should bowl first, thus giving us the advantage of an improving wicket. And so to attack. Started OK then fell apart. The figures speak for themselves. It really was awful. First Stevee, then Siddens, then Mike Hart then Smith falling like strimmed daffodils before the black and decker dynamo of the Southwick top order. Smith, saving the best for last brought out the Beasty. Bring on the big guns they cried.

"Beast.Beast.Beast.Beast....Bugger."

The ball sailed high over the Mid on boundary, again, and again. A red kite turned and wheeled on the thermals created by Rick's bat, eyeing up the weak and the lame hoplessly tethered to the boundary. Meanwhile the Beamers bowling 'attack' were bent double over the light to medium roller and mercilessly rodgered senseless. It wasn't pretty. Beast was taken for 26 off one over.....should have had a proper lunch.

After tea and facing the task of matching the largest score ever chalked against us we had a bit of a go. After ten overs we were looking good. Then like puppies we rolled over and offered up our underbellies to the marauding teenagers. After 15 it was all over. Frank got a few but no-one stuck around long enough to help. Beamer after Beamer gave up his wicket and shuffled off in the direction of the light to medium roller.

We consoled ourselves by drinking the pub dry.