The Correspondence that lead JT of the BBCC to TMS of the BBC
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Dear Simon,

Thank you so much for nominating Julian Walter for the TMS Tea ladies competition.

We would like to invite you and Julian to come up to Lord's this Saturday during the npower Test match and let the TMS team try out the famous Tortilla. There will be two other tea ladies there showing off their wares. We will provide you with a pair of tickets for the day and the winning Tea lady for this heat will go through to the final at The Oval.

We just need Julian to bring up some samples of the food he serves in a tupperware box - there will be facilities to heat things up if need be. You can watch the cricket all day and then meet me before Tea time so that I can take you up to the TMS box in the Media Centre and introduce you. Let me know if Julian and yourself can make it.

Kind regards,

Sarah King

Dear Sarah,

Horror, the Horror.

Julian and I, and the Brighton Beamers (devourers of the said Tortilla) are going to be playing cricket in Devon this weekend. It is the Brighton Beamers annual Devon Tour.

Nightmare! Can you imagine my excitement upon opening your email. I am certain that Blowers and the crew would enjoy Julian's mouthwatering, succulent, moist, but not too slopppy, Tortilla as certainly as the Beamers do of a Sunday afternoon. Yet neither of us can possibly give up a place on our annual Devon weekend.

Is there another date during the npower series that we could come with a sample of the delightful dish? We WILL travel! Edgbaston, Trentbridge, no distance is too far. I am willing to go to the ends of the earth to pleasure CMJ with JW's Spanish tart. I mean we could happily accept a cheery bye through the heats and bring the Tortilla to the Oval...but that would perhaps be asking too much. If you personally could be persuaded I am certain the Julian would knock up a sample and I would happily deliver it....

However if you are unhappy about accepting this blatant form of corruption (as I am certain you will be, God knows match fixing and the like has done enough damage to the glorious game) then, as I said, we would happily travel and join you on another date.

Please let me know. We travel to Devon tomorrow evening, but you can contact me directly on my mobile. Thanks again...what a hoot!

Simon Smith

Dear Simon and Julian,

You are most welcome to join us at Trent Bridge and I look forward to meeting you both and sampling the famous Tortilla. You will need to be there on the Saturday - the competition will be at teatime as you know but you will probably want to make the most of your tickets and get there in the morning. I will call you next week to arrange a place to meet. Hope the Devon tour went well - were you playing cricket on the beach?!

Sarah

Dear Sarah,

This is marvellous news; I am just off to nets, I shall convey it to Julian with a happy heart.
He is sooo excited, and I must confess that I too am developing a certain level of anticipation. Needless to say we will be there, Tortilla in hand, well not exactly in hand.... I think we may try and get up the night before, camp somewhere nearby and join you in the morning as you suggest.

Regarding cricket on the beach. No, it was my 'rest day' from and exhausting tour. During our four games at Tiverton Heathcoat, Ashbrittle, Carhampton and Filleigh the Beamers scored over 800 runs and were unbeaten. We thoroughly enjoyed the hospitality (Devon Teas are truly magnificent, though no tortilla of course).

A brief bit of history and heritage....BBCC was formed in the early 80's out of the RCP and the SWP radical left. We have softened politically over the years, and we too have all but given up on spin. We have remained solidly itinerant, no ground, no pub, no sponsors. We play our home matches on Brighton and Hove Council pitches. Our leftwing liberalism means we take all responsibility for stuff like teas ourselves, our partners and children come on tour with us and we are known for our funny sledging.

Our cricketing heritage is substantial. Amongst our numbers are the Great,great,great,great,great-grand niece of W.G.Grace, and my wife is the daughter of an England player of the 1960's. We also have a current member of the House of Lords as a long time member.

Hope that's useful, gotta go and swing my bat now.

All the best.